Okay, I'll tell you anyway.
Wait. Let me back up. Tooter, our dear boy, is pushing 3 years old. (Turns 3 in November). He has shown almost zero signs of being ready to potty train. Seriously - if you look at one of those lists on the various generic parental information sites regarding "signs for potty training readiness", Tooter really only exhibits one, maybe two, of them. I mean, considering he only recently started saying "diaper", I shouldn't be terribly surprised. I really think there has to be a link between an ability to process language on a higher level and being ready to climb up onto a toilet and take care of things. No one has actually TOLD me that, but think about it - the process of realizing that hearing Mommy say "let's use the potty" and realizing that it means that we're going to go to the potty and practice sitting on it doesn't always come quickly to a little person who is "delayed" in his receptive (not to mention expressive) language skills.
Well, regardless of whether or not that's true, Tooter's language skills have gotten better. So much better, in fact, that this coming Monday will be his last speech therapy session. He is being discharged after Monday! (Yay!) And, he can say diaper. He can handle pants and shorts. And climbing up onto and down from the potty. Heck, I realized today that he can even take the potty seat on and off by himself. This is one of those "click-in" seats that I couldn't even work without frustration, and HE showed me how to do it. (MAN, did I feel dumb at that point). Here's the thing. Being wet doesn't bother him. Heck, most of the time, being dirty doesn't bother him. I'm not kidding. It doesn't bode well for his "readiness" to train, but I had to see if we could jump start him.
So, today was Potty Day. This morning, when he got up and got his pj's changed, we put him in big boy shorts. Not pull ups. Big boy shorts. Before anyone thinks that I think that he was going to immediately use the potty right away, I didn't. Pull-ups can be more comfortable than you think. I needed him to be in something that would be totally uncomfortable when he had an accident.
::exhale:: Well..... he did. All day. Here's the thing - we could get him to cooperate with us to sit on the potty, but not for more than 3-5 minutes. (Up to this point, I was doing great to get him to sit still for more than 2 minutes. He just does not like being on the potty for some reason). He didn't WANT to go sit on the potty, but was cooperating with us at first. He wasn't using the potty - no way, Jose. But, he'd sit up there. Then, he'd get down, put his shorts back on, and 5 minutes later, have an accident. First, he didn't notice the accident. Then, he'd acknowledge he'd had one if you asked him. Later in the morning, he'd tell Jmk right after it happened. (We are putting him on the potty every 20-3o minutes, in case you were wondering). By just after lunch, we caught him grabbing himself, and we both said - "let's go to the potty!" And, we rushed him to the potty. And he melted down. We startled him..., he didn't want to use the potty..., he was crying..., asking for a diaper..., I was trying to hold ou...t, I tried to hold HIM to call him down..., he was holding himself and leaking on my legs..., he was screaming-crying...... it got worse. It was absolutely pitiful and I think I broke every rule in the potty-training book. Poor Jmk was just trying to do what I needed him to do even though I had NO idea what that was. I finally gave in, brought a diaper to the dear little boy, held him until he quit sobbing, rocked him, and put him down for a nap. That was the end of Potty Day.
It was the longest morning........ we hyper focused on him all morning trying to see if we could flip a switch in his head only to find out that the switch isn't ready to be flipped. It just isn't. You have to understand that we were spoiled with Poodle. She practically trained herself, and I'm really not kidding. She told me she wanted to go potty. She was always wanting to practice on the potty. She took her dolls and stuffed animals to go potty. She helped me go potty. ::groan:: I didn't try to get her to do any of it. She was out of diapers before she was two, regressed just before Toot was born, and I had her retrained in a couple of days. (Of course, that was after getting some advice from Leigh Ann, and it was 3 or 4 months later, but please - I had a newborn to deal with first). So, to have this little man who is so vehemently opposed to the idea of it all is new to us.
So, now, we'll back up and punt. Go at this little by little - more gently. Slowly. I'm really not worried that he's so late in training, but I was really hoping that today would be a magic starting point. It was one of the last weekends for awhile that both Jmk and I would be home for an entire Saturday without anything else to do. And I just had these grandiose ideas that today would be the top of the proverbial hill - and that we would be traversing downward from here. And, I'll be honest, my ability to think about potty training him and schooling Poodle at the same time isn't the strongest in the world. And school wins out.
Ehhh. It'll come. My little guy is just starting to really talk for the first time. Words, wonderful words, have just started to really come from him. The rest of it will come too. Like I tell my kids, time to press the patient button.