I love this.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Resolutions!

I recently saw a joke about how New Year's Resolutions are merely a to-do list for the first week of January.  ;-)

And, honestly, that has typically been what I've experienced with resolutions.  I'm so bad with them.  My intent is good, my spirit is willing...  then, I get half way through January, the shine and shimmer of the New Year has already begun to dull, and I'm back to my same old ways.  And my "resolutions" become just one more thing I didn't get to.  And, of course, THEN I feel guilty and unproductive for the rest of the year.  Stop The Insanity!!

SO!
I'm going to put it On The Line.  I'm putting it out there for all to see.  I'm going to put my goals, or resolutions if you will, on the blog.  Now, I will some accountability.  Hopefully, I haven't added undue pressure on myself.  We'll have to see how that pans out.  :-)  And, I'm going to blog more often, so that we can all keep up!

Whoops.  I guess the blogging more thing counts as a resolution, huh?  Hmmm.  Didn't think that one all the way through.  Well, this might mean blogs without pictures, because that tends to be what hangs me up.  I feel like every post should have some pictures to keep things interesting.  But I can't always get around to getting interesting pictures on there.  So I don't blog.  Turrible cycle, that.  Of course, blogging more than I did LAST year won't be hard.  I wasn't around much, eh?

So, my primary personal goal for 2012 pretty much revolves around improved health.  Here goes:
1)  Lose weight.

I know!!!  Stop yawning.  We ALL say it.  Every flippin' year, we say it.  And we really do mean it.  There are plenty of people who might recommend that I set a specific goal of X number of pounds.  Ehhh.  Maybe.  But I'm concerned that if I do that, I will get hung up on a number and won't focus on size.  Or, I will stop when I reach a certain number instead of continuing on.  OR, I will get disheartened because I slip up or plateau.  So, this time, next year, I will weigh less than I do now, which will be better for my joints and my spine and my overall energy level.  How much less isn't the issue.  I'm not going to have some enormous transformation by June or anything like that.  I'm just going to weigh less.

Y'all, I weigh more now than I ever have in my LIFE, except for when I was pregnant.  And, a great portion of that comes from a lack of the type of exercise that works for me.  Sooo.....

2)  Exercise more.

Yeah, you're yawning again.  That's okay.  This resolution glides very nicely right into the next one:

3)  Be able to do side splits and have at least a 90 degree arabesque again.

Ah HA!!  Now we're talking!  Now I'm getting specific.  It may take me a whole year, but I will get at least that much flexibility and strength back.  I will do different things to get to this point.  Stretching, exercise tapes, just doing barre exercises as I'm cooking tacos.  WhatEVer I can fit in around my particular schedule and needs.  I will do the best I can!

4)  Finally finish the Couch to 5K program.  I have started that program either 2 or 3 times, and I have stopped somewhere around week 4 almost every stinkin' time.  Why?  Am I scared of week 5?  Well..., yes.  Yes, I am.  But that's not why I stopped.  I let life get in the way every time.  Now, I will admit that it might take me all year to finish this 9 week program.  And that's okay.  I intend to have finished the program by this time next year.  That's all.

5)  Feel like I could dance with my brother at his wedding again.

No, no, my brother is very happily married and fully intends on staying that way.  But, if it WERE 2010, and he WAS getting married, I want to feel like I could manage to get through a swing with him without feeling like I needed to pass out just to feel better.  The C25K will help, but so will just dancing more.  I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to do that, but again, I'm going to work the details out as I go through the year.

One of the things that stops me in this typical January List Making is that I try to accommodate all the possible scenarios regarding planning exercise time around family, school, activities, etc.  It is impossible, my friends!  Not that I haven't tried to overplan in the past.  I have.  It's what I do.  So, I don't know how or when some of my exercising will happen, but I will figure something out.  No stress, no guilt, no beating myself up.  (That would be a great change for me right there!)

As much as I'd like to join the Y (and Jmk would be all behind it if I said we needed to), I really am unsure of the child care situation.  I'm not going to lie.  I'm worried about germs.  I'm not a germaphobe, really.  But, y'all, those places are breeding grounds for every single virus that is going around.  And when a kid gets sick around here, lots more than my "free time" gets put on hold.  Schooling tends to get put on hold.  And that throws all kinds of things off.  Bleh.  As flexible as homeschooling is, it also requires that I make decisions that support the home education lifestyle.  Right now, sick little kids would disrupt things in a significant way.  Sick older kids - not as much of a disruption.  But my babies are still little.  :-)  ::hug them!!::

So, ANYway, I really don't have concrete plans for dance related exercise right at this minute.  If I had access to a Mary Poppins, I'd go take (or maybe even start!) some adult ballet classes.  But I don't, so I won't.  However, now is not forever, and I don't know what kind of fun things the next year will hold!  As far as a diet plan goes, Jmk and I have decided to go with the well proven ELF diet.  Eat Less Food.  It works every time.  And, y'all, when you see me at a holiday function or one of my kids' birthdays and I'm having cake AND ice cream, remember that I said LESS food.  Not NO food.  ::grin::  Important, crucial difference.

Are there other resolutions that one would expect to be on a well rounded list?  Like, more time spent in God's Word, or building a photography portfolio, or learning a new language, or cleaning out clutter from the house, etc?  Well, of course, all those things (except the language thing - I'm so ambivalent about that for some reason.  Charlotte Mason would NOT be impressed with me) are certainly things that I strive to improve upon.  But, I've reached a point in my life where I feel like my health is important.  For me, yes.  But also for my husband.  For my children.  And it will be easier now to improve my eating habits, exercise habits, and strengthening habits than it will be even 5 years from now.  Thus, I'm going to focus on personal health for the next year.

As we travel through 2012, I hope to be more loving, more open, and more like the kid I used to be.  And, hopefully, there will be less of me in the process.

Oh, and apparently I'm going to be blogging more.  Fingers crossed on that one!

The Awesomeness of Six

To our precious Tooter,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!  In all your six year old awesomeness, you are equal parts ferocious love and a walking heart attack.  We are so proud of you for all you have accomplished this past year, and we are SO very much looking forward to seeing what you will be accomplishing in the year to come.

Oh, you are ALL boy.  If there is a couch to be sat upon, it must be addressed with a running jump or at least a flip over the back.  If there is a toy to be played with, it must be in an eternal fight to the death with the evil toy counterpart with whom it struggles.  (replete with sound effects, of course)  I, as your mother, am just now beginning to realize that you are not a crazy person, you are just a B-O-Y.  And I am SO glad that you're our boy!!

You still give THE best hugs ever in the whole world period.  Ever.  And you are still notoriously picky about eating, but you have branched out a bit in the past year.  Of course, eating in general has been hampered by our discovery of your allergy to wheat.  THAT has been a toughie, hasn't it sweet boy?  Having to eliminate some of your staple foods like pasta and pancakes and pizza has been a challenge.  And, there's just not a perfect substitute for those things.  At least, not right now.  You'll get to where you like the GF options, I just know it.  But, for now, avoiding wheat is helping us keep your eczema in a much more manageable state.  And that means less steroids, less infections, less bleeding.  Like we say all the time, you still get to sleep in your bed at night.  Not in a hospital.  It's a blessing that this is your health challenge.  The Lord has been so merciful!

You think I'm totally way prettier with makeup on.  So much so that you actually ask me "are you going to put on your eyelashes today?"  ::grin::  (For those wondering, he means mascara.  No, I'm not putting on false eyelashes just to hang around the house).

You have recently discovered Star Wars, X-Men, Masked Avengers, Superman, Spiderman, etc.  Your birthday gathering at the park was a blast today, watching you get things like a Darth Vader mask, Captain America awesomeness, huge growling dinosaurs, and Star Wars Legos!  Everything you opened was met with a "No WAY!!!"  ha!  It was so fun.  Like previously mentioned, you're all boy.  I'm very much looking forward to teaching you how to play Battleship!

You are still a superb sleeper, a great reader, and you are a wonderful student.  You really enjoy math and handwriting and you are getting better at your narrations every day!  I'll admit, your attention span is not like your sister's.  But, again, B-O-Y.  Right now, you're a very visual learner.  You need to see the words, see the math blocks, see the video.  Sitting and listening is the worst way to get information into your head.  But, we still work on that so that you develop an ability to do it!

You had an absolute blast playing soccer this fall, and you're still taking TaeKwonDo.  (You're a Tiger Cub Brown Belt at the moment).  You've told us that you want to play baseball next spring too!  I will admit that even though working in the soccer practices and working in the games was a challenge, I had a ball doing it.  And had SO much fun watching you!

I don't put you to bed very often; usually Daddy does that.  But when I do, like I got to do tonight, you blow me a zillion kisses and I have to catch them all.  :-)  I love that.  And I love hearing you pray, and I love your lisp.  (even though I do work with you on that because as cute as it sounds, you don't want to be 10 and still talking with it).

I looooove that you like to kill bugs.  Blech.  Including the big gross roaches.  ewww.

And, oh, your eyes.  Those sparkly, shiny, mischievous, loving, crystal blue eyes.  Those eyes that make me grin and remind me of your wonderful father all at the same time.

Sweet boy, we love you so much.  You make us proud, you make us smile, you make us crazy, and you make us so grateful to God for the blessing of having a son like you.  May God bless you so much as you continue to grow and learn and, we pray, seek Him first in your life.  Happy birthday sweetheart!  My sweet boy.  Our little Turkey Blessing.  :-)

We love you!!!

Custard's Dash

Custard
2001-2011

I've read before about how important the dash is.  That the year you were born and the year you die is of very little consequence.  It's the dash that means the most.  What you did, how you lived.  Who you were.

Custard was born on November 28, 2001.  We picked him up the day after we returned from our honeymoon, when he was almost 3 months old.  Literally, he was a part of our married life from Day One.

Custard was the epitome of the yellow lab stereotype.  He was so friendly, so easy to train.  He was loyal and unendingly loving.  He was brilliant with our children.  They could crawl on him, pull his ears, accidentally step on him; he returned it all with a wagging tail, a nose in the face, and more and more love.  Custard brought them delight and laughter and loving attention.  Hands down, he was the best dog I've ever had.  Jmk will tell you the same thing.

As much as I loved and cared about that dog of ours, Custard was Jmk's boy.  Custard would do anything for me, but Jmk was the one to whom Custard truly followed and respected and submitted.  I could literally say "Daddy's home, you better go get on your pillow".  And that dog, who had driven me batty being everywhere but on his pillow, would instantly go to his pillow and practically shiver with excitement that Jmk was about to walk through the door.

A couple of years ago, my sweet, golden-eyed kitty cat ran away.  Now, I'm not going to lie and tell you that it didn't hurt.  But, honestly, with a 2 month old baby, two other kids, and the confusion of what happened to her sort of cushioned that blow.  I realize that she probably ran away because she knew that she was very sick.  And that's just what cats do.  I didn't realize at the time what a burden she lifted from us when she did that.

A couple of months ago, we began a process of vet visits with Custard that ultimately ended with the realization that he didn't have much longer with us.  The tragedy of it, for us, was that we were faced with the most difficult choice that pet owners have to make:  Let him die naturally through terrible circumstances which would completely belie the amount of goodness he had in him,  or be merciful.  The latter broke our hearts in a way that we were not prepared for.

Eighteen days before his 10th birthday, we buried our friend, our companion, our sweet dog.  We had a hard time breathing for the next couple of days.  And we cried a lot.  And now we can breathe again.  And though we are able to maintain our composure when we look at the backyard, our hearts feel a literal pain when we instinctively look to see if he's ready to come inside at night.  The children are blessedly resilient and are already asking if they can get a new puppy.  I'm so glad for their desire to have another dog, and we recognize this as their need to fill the hole that Cus's death has left in the family.  We're not ready yet, but we will be one day.

Good dogs show you the type of unconditional love that we all strive to give, albeit precious few of us actually manage to get there.  Custard was the epitome of unconditional love even as he couldn't eat, struggled to stand, and had to breathe through a fluid-filled lung cavity.  Even though he suffered, he still loved us and used all his energy to show us how great HE thought WE were.

And we love him.  We always will.

His dash changed us.  And we thank God for giving us the blessing of a Simply Good Dog.

Eight is GREAT!!!

Happy Birthday Poodle!!!!!  I know we mostly call you Bear at home, but you were our Precious Poodle when you were a baby, and that's about the time that this blog got started.  Then, later, your Aunt Sessie started calling you a certain nickname which eventually got shortened to Bear.  (I still won't use y'all's names on the blog, although there are days I wish I could!)  So, you're our Bear, who lives in our Zoo, who acts like a monkey along with your monkey siblings.  And your Daddy and I could NOT be happier with the multitude of blessings that are YOU and Toot and Lollypop!

You were THE girl.  You made us parents.  You made 4 people grandparents.  You made a number of people aunts and uncles.  That's a whole lot of making for a little girl.  And what an outstanding girl you have always been!

Still to this day....  you can't put your shoes away and you have no interest in keeping your room tidy and if you're not interested in something, then you don't really care about doing it "right".  :-D (handwriting anyone?  heehee!)

But - you know what???  You have a heart the size of Texas.  You cry when someone else is hurting and you love with a passion that is felt down into your bones.  That passion is something that you have for LIFE...  you may not care a whit about putting your clothes away, but you rarely go to a playdate without making eleventy pictures for your friend.  And you take care of little kids in the waiting area at TaeKwonDo because that's who you are.  And Lollypop runs to you when she needs to feel better (when Mommy can't do it for her).  You CARE.  You care about people and you care about your family and you care about your friends.  You're smart and you KNOW people.

It's your heart that makes you who you are, and I hope that you will grow up to embrace that part of yourself and be who you ARE.  Who the Lord made you to be.  Because this world needs a lot more people just like you.  The world needs a lot more people with your incredible sense of humor and passion for people.

I'm not gonna lie.  You are bossy, girl.  Whooo chile!  :-)  But I pray that all that creativity and passion and internal strength is used by God to do big things.  You say right now that when you grow up you are going to be a homeschooling mommy and a ballet teacher.  :-)  Well, you know what, I think you will be GREAT at those things.  Or ANY thing else you decide to pursue.  When you love something, you work hard at it.  And that passion that you have inside of you flows over into everything else that you love.

Oh, babygirl, we love you.  We know it's really hard being the girl who has to teach her parents everything.  But, you know what, there's nobody better for the job.  You love us even though we mess up with you ALL the time.  But, God is merciful, and He gave us a little girl who is understanding and compassionate and full of laughter.

We praise HIM for you, dear little girl.  Eight years ago, we became parents.  Because of YOU.  And you will never be able to give us a better gift than that.  You make us so proud.  And so happy.  And so very grateful that God blessed us in spite of ourselves.  Sweet girl - we love you with all our hearts!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR PRECIOUS, FUNNY, LOVING POODLE!!!!!

Session for TWO

I took Poodle and Lollypop out to MooMoo and GaGa's "Back Forty" for their 8 and 2 year old portrait sessions.  Poodle's are still in editing phase since it's not quiiite her birthday yet.  But, here are the Baby's!

I should have seen it from minute one that she wasn't trusting NObody but GaGa that afternoon.  Do you see the look she's giving me?  Let me translate:  I know you have the camera.  I understand what you want to do.  I do not agree with your thoughts.  You must quit thinking them.  sigh...   GaGa is the only one who gets me.  sigh...

Okay, I will run and skip through the grass that we interrupted GaGa from cutting.    I will make you sing the Little House on the Prairie theme song in your mind.  But, I'm only running back to GaGa, you see.

My daddy wants this tractor.  GaGa won't let him have it.  Poor Daddy.....

Mommy loves me and my cuteness!

Two, two, wonderful two!  Do you love me?,  'cause I love YOU!

Hmmm.  I haven't seen GaGa for about 2 1/2 minutes.  I'm thinking I need to know what he's doing.

<3 <3 <3

I see GaGa!  Please give me back GaGa.  GaGa, please come get me away from crazy camera lady.

She. Told. Me. No.   I am full of sadness now.

But I have looked at the camera and been cute for you.  Why must I still sit here?

<3 <3 <3

I can't find GaGa!  Mommy is making him hide from me!  I am full of misery and sadness!

I see him!  Come get me GaGa!  Save me!!

::exhale::  The only one who loves me.  GaGa.

Y'all, I kid you not about the GaGa thing.  MooMoo wasn't going to brave the slightly slippery trek to the "Back Forty" because of her recent knee surgery, so it was just GaGa back there.  And Lollypop was having no one but him.  It was crazy!

And now a few after I changed her clothes:

And that was our Lollypop's session!  She is our lovely, precious Little Squirt of a girl.  We love you sweetheart!