Of Reunions and Years

Jmk and I just spend the weekend somewhat immersed in activities for my 20 year high school reunion.  (If anyone is "doing the math" in their head, please remember that I was a child genius and graduated HS at 10.  You believe me, right?)

Laying aside the fact that I have passed into that "late pregnancy" stage, where some women just swell up from head to toe and cause all their pictures to seem almost unrecognizable, even to them, we had a wonderful time.  It was easy for us, since we still live in the same area from which I graduated.  What impresses me most is the traveling that some folks did.  We had classmates come in from Washington state, California, Michigan, North Carolina, Texas....  It was impressive.

But what was more interesting to me was the different vibe, the different overall atmosphere than there was at the 10 year reunion.  The 10 year was fun, sure.  But.....  that first reunion after you have graduated, there is so much comparison, so much competitive curiosity, so much interest for the wrong reasons.  Or, at least it feels that way.  The thing is, it wasn't all that noticeable THEN.  It's just that comparing this past weekend to how things felt 10 years ago, that's when you feel the different vibe.

I came away from this weekend wishing I could have spent more one-on-one time talking with people. Get past the "how old are your kids and where do you live now" conversations and REALLY talk.  There are girls and guys alike with whom I was able to have brief conversations who really impressed me as people I'd like to get to know better all over again.  Because they have grown, their interests have widened and matured, and they have become more realistic about the world and life.  As I hope I have.

But, to borrow a phrase from the husband of a classmate that Jmk and I were talking to on Saturday night, folks are just more comfortable in their own skin now.  Actually, more to the point, if "you're not comfortable in your own skin by now, you never will be".  And it's that ability to know who we are and what is important to us (no matter what those around us declare to be important) that helps us to enjoy each other more.  The ability to be with those at different places in life and not play the comparison game.  The desire to see those around you be happy and successful and raise good families.

We've all LIVED by now.  We've worked for a long time now.  Most of us have gotten married, even if we're not still joined with that person.  A great majority of us have children.  Our collective focus on each other was one of true interest and shared experiences.  There was an honest understanding when an old friend says things like "I had to take my kids with me to my hair appointment the other day".  Suddenly, you have a connection with this person that goes beyond the mere sharing of classes or a locker.

So much of my personal life has changed from 10 years ago.  At our first reunion, I was working a "real" job (i.e. one that gave me a paycheck with my name on it), I wasn't married, had no children - my overall perspective of life in general was vastly different.  Maybe it's the changes in my life that changed my perspective on this past weekend.  Maybe it was an honestly different type of gathering this time.  Our activities thru the weekend were almost identical to the ones 10 years ago.  But the atmosphere seemed so different - and in a very good way.

We could see our classmates and see our differences and be glad for those differences.  There was no need to hide ourselves in order to fit some imaginary mold that had to be filled.  It was nice.  It was just plain nice.

If we actually DO do this again in only five years, like so very many people want to, I hope that it is again an uplifting experience and one that turns out to be as fun as this one was.

And the next time, I won't be in maternity clothes.  :-)