To My Kids

Kids, this is one of the posts that will help you to know your mom better one of these days.  Honestly, I'll probably say these same things to you at some point, but in case you forget, you'll see this and say "oh, yeah!  Mama was all about that!"  By the way, is it Momma or Mama?  I really won't care what you call me, so long as you do.

Anyway, when you get around to reading this and you compare dates, you'll see this and the last post came out around the time of Mississippi originally passing HB 1523.  Look it up - but, I'm sure we'll have talked about it when you get to the age where you can understand all the nuances.

What I want to say doesn't directly relate to this bill.  What I want to say deals with what you need to remember, when you get older, and you have to listen to or debate with people who vehemently disagree with you.  It's going to happen, so knowing how to do it intelligently and with an attitude you can be proud of is a good thing to learn.

Case in point - that last post probably wasn't the best example of how to behave.  I was mad as spit and needed to vent.  Granted, I didn't say a lot of things I wanted to say, but speaking when mad is rarely a good idea.  Be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger - James 1:19, KRV (Kackley Revised Version).  Here's the hard part:  in this day of electronic thought-sharing, there aren't very many people who are quick to listen or slow to speak or slow to anger.  They tend to be just the opposite, and I'm guilty of it often as well.

But, if you want to please God, then you need to do those things.  If you are quick to listen first, then you are sure to hear someone out entirely and are able to truly discern what they are saying and (if God gives you wisdom) what they are actually meaning when they say it.  Hopefully it will mean that you will be harmless as a dove but wise as a serpent when you answer them.  But the other benefit of being quick to listen is that the person doing all the talking will understand that you are attempting to understand from where they are coming, and that *might* help them to be more cordial and cooperative with you.  When it comes to things of a spiritual or political nature, most folks aren't interested in having their minds changed nor are they interested in an honest debate.  But listen to them first.  That is the right thing to do.

Then, be slow to speak back.  If you've hooked up with someone who just wants to blather on about what they think and about how horrid and hateful anyone is who doesn't agree with them, then the time you spent listening will let you discern that and you will have been able to come to the understanding that the time you spend "debating" this person will be nothing more than an argument.  Proverbs is full of advice about avoiding quarrels.  2 Tim 2:23-25 (KRV) tells us to stay away from foolish arguments with people who aren't interested in learning about both sides.  But if you do get involved and you consider yourself to be a Christian, then you need to get about being patient and kind and loving.  If you want to have any chance to have a positive effect on someone, you MUST be patient and kind and loving.  If you bite back harshly, you will NOT have a positive effect and you're probably going to leave a bad taste in the mouth of the other person.  Don't tell people you're Christian.  SHOW them.  I had a moment of doing the opposite this past week, and I wish I hadn't.  I really wasn't horridly mean.  Y'all know I don't like to make people feel bad.  But I spoke when I shouldn't have to some people who were in absolutely no position to listen and I didn't take enough care to position my words in a loving manner.  It didn't go over well.

Aaaand the hard one:  be slow to get angry.  Look, I know when you get older and you get into discussions with some people about doctrine, and you get with that one person who only wants to argue with you and who will. not. listen, you're going to feel angry at some point.  I was angry during that last post, so obviously, getting older doesn't help you with the slow to wrath thing.  And, the quick to listen part can often make the slow to anger part reeeallly hard, especially when the name-calling starts.  But, I promise you, my dearest offspring, you'll much more regret popping off than you will with holding your tongue.  You'll know when it's time to speak and if you've been trying hard to not let inconsiderate words make you angry, then what you say will be reasonable, true, and easy to understand.  (Not necessarily easy to hear, because the truth is often not taken well.)

There will plenty of times that doing the good work of going through this process will help you to learn more about a subject which will increase your compassion.  That's a good thing.  Sometimes, you might learn enough to even change your mind.  But when it comes to doctrinal issues, always go into the process with your standards in place.  You know what Grace is and you know what it does in our lives.  You know how to define the Elect.  You know what undeserving wretches those Elect are.  You know that sin is sin, no matter how popular it may be.  Know your standards by knowing your Bible.  Then you'll have some pillars upon which to begin to develop opinions that are *yours*.  You'll have the ability to learn more and gather information about the world around us.  And, sometimes, you'll just have to walk away from someone without telling them what you think.  Don't let an untruth about God go unanswered, unless the time you spent listening to that person made you aware that you would be "casting pearls before swine".  Then you walk away and try hard to feel compassion for that person and treat them as you would like to be treated.

You can love someone and disagree with them.  You can love someone and not allow them to change your truths.  You can treat someone with respect even when they are unkind to you.  You can turn the other cheek even when someone is so obviously wrong on an issue.  Always be bold about your faith, kids.  Always.  But follow the Lord's instructions on how to deal with quarrelers, and you can be sure your faith will not lead another person astray.

And know that your Momma loves you no matter what.  <3 p="">

It's All Personal

[Enter a new blog type for me which is loosely categorized as "I need to vent and some of this may tick you off and I'm really sorry about that, but every thing that builds up pressure must either have a pop-off valve or it will explode".  My intention of posting is to solve that pressure build-up because just unloading on my ever patient husband wasn't enough.  I guess when I'm inundated electronically with a certain thing, I feel the need to pop-off electronically, too.]


From the beginning of time, there has been a war between between Right and Wrong.  Evil warring against Goodness.  Goodness does allow Evil to "win" from time to time, but make no mistake, Goodness will triumph at the end and Evil knows it.

In the meantime, Evil, who is the Enemy of those who belong to Goodness, does whatever he can to complicate and obfuscate their lives.

Enter terminology.

In my short life (short to someone who is, say, 77), I've watched "church speak" evolve.  It's just like regular speech.  The things that come out of younger folks' lexicon in the larger metropolitan areas eventually make their way everywhere and within a year or so make their way into adult speech, at which time of course, the kids quit saying it.  (Example - only using the first syllable of a word.  Presh instead of precious.)  "Church Speak" is always changing as well, in order to better fit a movement's motives or to keep up with what is being said in the mega-churches of the bigger cities, possibly.  It's always been that way and will always be that way until Christ comes back.

Example.  Two hundred years ago, the question may have been "Have you been baptized?" which would indicate the desire to know if you identified as a Christian.  When I was a kid, "Have you been saved?" and "Have you accepted Christ?" were the common questions.  I began to notice a slight shift in the terminology as people were able to be more vocal on a broader stage because of blogs and such, and the question changed slightly to "Have you given your life to Christ?" or "She chose to follow Christ".  The meaning was the same, but where the first questions were more honest in their intent, the later questions weren't so blatantly "I was part of my salvation, because Christ didn't complete the work Himself."  The newer phrase "Let Go and Let God" can also have that meaning, although it's also meant to imply a need to quit fighting the Spirit who intends to lead you down the path that leads to peace.

Now, all the above, unless you're Primitive Baptist or someone of a Calvinist sort of order (PB's aren't Calvinists, but our doctrine feels quite similar) may ruffle feathers, so just shake that off and let's continue.  I am open to doctrinal discussions, but I'm not trying to debate works vs. grace right now.  I'm here to get something off my chest that gets thrown around in political/social arguments all. the. time. these days.  Here comes my electronic pop-off valve.

The idea of "My God" and "My Jesus".

::exhale::

Y'all, there is one God.  He exists as a triune being made of God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.  This is what I believe because logic leads me to that understanding and the Spirit gives me the faith to believe the things that I can not see.  He is a personal God in that Jesus Christ, upon dying on the cross, rent the veil.  He opened the door between us and God; nay, he obliterated it.  He didn't make a way to salvation, He finished it.  He took his clothing (of righteousness) and put them on us so that we could commune with God the Father.  He took His and secured them.  ALL OF THEM.  I love Dolly Parton singing "He's Alive", (I just got chills typing that) because of the words "Heaven's gates are open wide".  They are - because Christ personally took care of the barrier between us and Heaven.  By us, I mean every single Child of God.

But God - whether you speak of the triune being or of the Father, the Son, or the Spirit individually - is God.  He is and He runs things.  You don't get to define Him.

Let's take the abortion argument.  (I sat here for a minute to try to come up with a cutesy, obscure example but we all know what the hot button topics are, so I'll just pick one of them.)  When a defender of the practice uses the terminology "Well MY God wouldn't want someone to be unhappy, and if someone isn't ready to have a child, then they will be unhappy", they are showing their doctrinal hand.  This introduces the idea of a personal Jesus or a personal God - one who is defined by the "user" rather than by Himself.  While I will concede that the development of the worship of God is a personal thing based on where one is one's study and experience, one begins a descent down a slick slope when one starts to define God.  (Please allow me to insert this:  Most people who get abortions are scared and make a bad choice and later regret it.  Please know that you are loved and there are groups that are already in place to help you deal with and heal from this burden.)

Ah, Leah.  You sound sanctimonious and as though you think you know more about the Bible than me.  You fool.

Oh, I'm a fool, in so many ways.  You're right about that.  You may very well have studied the Bible way more than me, which wouldn't take much.  If I am sounding sanctimonious, it's because I'm a subpar writer, because all I'm doing right now is venting.  But I ask you this - what good is a God who can be defined by the "user" rather than by Himself?  That would indicate that God is not God but, rather, Man is God.  That's the danger of letting popular phrases sneak into your lexicon.  Eventually, your brain works on them and they change the way you look at God.  The Enemy doesn't go around proclaiming huge, enormous lies that are easy to spot and brush off as nonsense.  He speaks with words that are really logical and pretty much the truth except that maybe one word/thought gets just a little bit altered.  But that tiny alteration can change an entire value system.  He told Eve "you're not going to DIE.  It's not like you're going to take a bite of the fruit and just fall over dead."  And she didn't, did she?  Not right then.  But everything changed.

Oh, so you think you know God better than me?

Not really, no.  I mean, I don't know - do you think you know God better than me?  That's a non-helpful question and is meant to change the discussion.  What I'm saying is that if you're going to speak of the God in the Bible, and use His words as part of an argument, then in order for the argument to be valid, you have to speak of God as He has defined Himself.  You can't make one up.  Either it's all inerrant or it's not.  Either God has defined Himself or He hasn't.  And for Pete's sake, why would you worship a god that is changeable (read: unstable or not reliable)?

::exhale::

I have read a lot of arguments the last few days that began with the precept that "My Jesus would never -fill in the blank-".  Those well-meaning but misguided folks are the ones who have chosen a man-made religion, even though I suspect most of them don't realize it.  And it started right in the church when we let the phrase "personal relationship with Jesus" get completely out of hand.  Specifically, out of His hand.

Ballroom Dancing and Marriage

So, I'm sitting here eating my lunch of tomato soup with entirely too much cheese in it for someone who is supposed to be on a diet.  And I'm browsing the Black Hole Of Time And Productivity, also known as Facebook.  I came across this article talking about how this writer "isn't a feminist and that's okay".

I liked the article, particularly because of how she explained that had she been alive in the early 1900's, she'd have likely been a feminist.  Back then, equal pay for equal jobs, the right to vote, and the right to work without being thought a bastion of evilosity (Kacktionary) were the hallmarks of the original feminist movement.  I'm with you, Ms. Sankey.  (See, I don't know if she's married or not, but I suspect that someone capable of writing that post is probably okay with being called Ms. even if she'd rather be a Miss or is supposed to be a Mrs.)  The original feminist movement was common sense.  Now, though, it has been hijacked to include things that devalue human life, that are illogical, and that are repressive to any woman who doesn't perform obeisance to the current platform of ideas.  (I'll let you decide what those things are.)

But that's not what I came here to get off of my mind.

Today, we finished up a homeschool ballroom class for some area high schoolers.  It was so fun, and some of those kids had to step all the way out of their comfort zone to do what they did.  I was so proud to be able to help them!  I didn't teach it; rather, I was the assistant, the official kitten-herder, and the demonstration lackey.  Perfect for me, and good for the kids because the real teacher has a LOT of experience teaching kids as well as adults.

This has ballroom on my mind at the moment and that combined with the article I read is why I'm wanting to share some thoughts.  See, I'm one of "those" women who takes the Bible's directions for a healthy marriage to heart.  I figure if I'm going to believe some of the Bible, I might as well believe all of it, right?  But, I really don't want to sound all "boy, aren't I just the best woman ever because I don't get my knickers in a twist when I hear the word 'submit'?".  I say all that to say that I agree with the premise that a strong family needs a singular leader in order to maintain order.  That leader needs to be able to have a right-hand (wo)man who can basically take charge and run things in a manner that they both agree is best for said family.

A good marriage is not too different from a really good pairing on the dance floor.

Within a strong dance couple, the man is a strong leader.  He leads the dance based on what he feels is best for the music and best for the partner he has in his arms.  He doesn't try to lead his partner into steps that she hates or doesn't do well, because they will both feel awkward and look ridiculous.  It won't work if he's always waiting around for her to back lead him into something, because back leading never looks as good as proper leading.  The lady, on the other hand, has got to be strong to be able to follow that lead.  If her arms are spaghetti and her mind is elsewhere, she will always have a scared deer look in her eyes and will usually be a step behind what he's trying to do.  They've both got to be strong, focused, and committed to the dance in order for it to both look good and for them to have fun.  And she has GOT to follow his lead.  If she gets it in her head that they are going to do something else other than what he has in mind, they will jumble up and, again, look ridiculous.

Here's the thing.  When a couple has been dancing together for a long time, he knows what she's expecting to do and she knows what he's going to do, and they've probably talked enough about what they like and don't like so that they now can just relax and enjoy the movement and the music.  They can learn new things together and get better and they do it under the same formula - he leads, she follows.

You see where I went with that.  All that I said is perfectly true about a dancing partnership and it's all true about marriage as well.

My marriage isn't perfect.  No marriage is.  While that hardly needs to be said, I feel like I need to include that ubiquitous clarification so that I don't have to make a long statement about how I don't want to come off as some self righteous know-it-all who has all the answers and who is 24/7 peaceful with her husband and kids and whose bookshelves are never dusty.  ::rolling my eyes::  Y'all, I'm a big mess of inconsistency and partial-crazy and I by no means have an unfailing handle on right vs. wrong.  (See, I went ahead and made that long statement anyway.  I just hate the "my marriage isn't perfect either" stuff, because you never can tell if someone is just saying that to try to keep you from feeling bad.)

What I have is some experience with ballroom dancing, and a tiny 14 years experience with marriage, and a mind that likes to overthink things, and a lifetime of Primitive Baptist upbringing.  All that mushed together results in posts just like this one, and now I've been able to share my mush.  :-)

Thoughts From The Lawnmower

So, we have a pretty decent sized yard now.  While, technically, you could mow it with a pushmower, it would take a *really* long time.  So, we have a riding lawnmower.  I love cutting the yard!  It takes me somewhere between 2 1/2 and 3 hours to cut it, and it makes for some very nice "me" time.  Plus, it has the benefit of allowing me to start a job and finish.  My primary occupation is raising children, and that is obviously not a job where you get to place a period at any given time.   So, cutting the grass is good for me.

And, it gives me a lot of uninterrupted thinking time.  That little blessing is in short supply, most days.  Having hours to begin a thought and then keep thinking about it and then allowing it to create this lovely gossamer of connections in my brain is a little bit like eating chocolate while you're dieting.  It feels decadent and quite like a reward.

Well, I got to cut the grass on Wednesday afternoon.  We were scheduled to have some pretty long rains, and all the weeds are vociferously stretching for attention, so I rearranged some other things and hopped on the mower.  Earlier this week, a former first lady, Nancy Reagan, had passed away, and I got to thinking about her.  I've always held both her and President Reagan in high regard.  Not just for the way he governed and she managed the White House, but for the intense love they had for each other and the way they shared those emotions with anyone who watched.  It was genuine.  You knew it was.  And, in politics, seeing real feelings that are good and pure have a way of connecting you to a person or couple.

So, I got to thinking about her passing and my first thought was "oh, she must have been so joyously happy to see her Ronnie again."  That thought was immediately followed by "but that's not who she should have been joyously happy to see."

When I think of passing away, I think of those who have already left.  I think of the possibility that my Jason will be the one I am longing to see again and how much that anticipation will fill my thoughts.  But I should be deeply longing to see my Lord.  Why isn't that my first thought?  We long for those we lived with here, because we spent time with that person and invested in that person.

"Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

Okay, so dig more deeply into His word and spend more time in prayer and in communion with Him.  Develop a relationship with Him that comes to mind during the day as I think of friends and those I love.

But, not having that physical relationship - being able to see, touch, hold, care for - keeps the relationship from feeling like the one I have with my husband or my children or my parents or my siblings.  In my head, I know I should long to see Him, and so I do.  But it's not the same as longing for human beings who have gone on.  And it makes me feel quite guilty as well as desirous of changing the relationship I have with Him so that I can feel that longing.

I long for Him to come back and take us all home.  That is a deeply felt desire of mine now.  But when I am passing away, will I feel that same urge for Him as I will feel for those people here that I loved?

You know, I don't know.  But just typing this out has made me remember that investment of time matters.  And I am not really investing the kind of time I need to in order to develop not just professorial knowledge, but also emotion and desire - that kind of desire that can at times overwhelm your heart.  Maybe just knowing that this desire is a goal of mine will help to bring it about, because I will be putting my treasure of thoughts into Jesus Christ more often.  And eventually, as I am leaving this world, I may be longing for those already gone, with Jesus being the first one on that mindful list.

Thoughts on prayer and faith

I read a devotional recently that touched me.  For those that don't have time to click on the link, the gist of it, for me anyway, was how important it is to turn to God in prayer, especially when you've messed up.  It referenced Jonah and how while he was in the hell of the great fish's belly, he didn't curse his situation.  Instead, he cried out in repentance to God.

It reminds me of my children.  They will do something wrong and will get into big-time trouble.  But, just as soon as they get over their initial punishment, they seek out the punishing parent for comfort and for forgiveness.  That is exactly what I am supposed to do with my Lord.  It was a good reminder of why and how we are to have the type of faith that a child has:  faith that trusts no matter what.  Here is an excerpt from this devotional:

When we find ourselves suffering for our own sins, we are sometimes tempted to avoid God. Out of a sense of guilt, or pride, or embarrassment we turn away from God rather than turning to him in prayer.

But, as Jonah observed, afflictions are sometimes sent to draw us to God, to deliver us from our sinful path: “I cried by reason of mine affliction unto the LORD.” The very affliction is what brought Jonah to cry out to God.

God has never yet turned away any sinner who prayed to him in repentance. Jonah found that, even as he suffered “in the belly of hell” he was able, through prayer, to come to God in his holy temple.