So, About Those Resolultions

I can not explain it easily why I can't seem to develop some simple, yet unique, new resolutions for 2013.  But, I can't.  I keep thinking that maybe it's because I know our year is going to be a crazy one, if the Lord blesses us to continue on this track to build our house.  Maybe, I think, it's because I didn't REALLY finish everything I set out to do last year, and I hate leaving things unfinished.   So, I believe that's what I will focus on with one minor alteration:

1)  Finish those last 5 lbs of weight loss.

I want to be in a place where I can yo-yo a bit on the scale and still have it start with a reasonable number.  Right now, after having slacked off from about Thanksgiving until now, I have had zero extra weight loss, and quite frankly, the scale was a little mean this morning.  So, back on the horse, lose the last 5.  Get comfortable in a size of clothing.  I have a year to do it, but I'd like to have it done by the summertime.

2)  Finish getting back splits, and make the arabesque a pure and true 90 degree arabesque.

No explanation needed there.

3)  I'm sitting here drumming my fingers on the keyboard, trying to come up with a way to explain how I'm not going to really try to finish the C25K program.  It's not that I want to leave it unfinished.  I don't.  And, I might just finish it accidentally.  But, I no longer have the urge to do it, although I really do enjoy the process of running, which I never really had before.  I DO, however, have the urge to get to exercising again, on a regular schedule.  All the progress that I made last year has almost completely been wiped out over the past two months of inactivity.  It's getting almost unnerving how quickly fitness can be lost as the years go by.

However, I find myself in a difficult place in life, with the kids and homeschooling, and my schedule not being my own.  I can't just leave the house and go walk the neighborhood, because the kids are too little.  I can't just bring them along, because then the workout isn't really one that has a great effect.  (although that would be better than what I'm doing now, which is nothing!)  The timing of my day doesn't really allow for me to take 30 minutes "just for me".  It seems like an easy thing to do, and MAYBE it's easier than I think it's going to be.  MAYBE I just need to gently alter the kids' thinking about the importance of mom being healthy.  And, to do that, I need to have time on the treadmill or whathaveyou.  I just don't know how it's going to work.  That's part of my problem.  I want that time to be on a schedule.  I like schedules and lists and knowing what's going to happen and following a plan.  I'm not great with the whole flying by the seat of my pants thing.  (I'm not a poster child for homeschooling, I'll be honest).  But, it takes some time to work through 40+ years of someone's personality!  I'm always going to be that person, but I have to learn to be flexible enough to allow creativity when fitting in exercise time.  It won't be done in a manner that makes me comfortable.  But, if it's done at all, then that's a success!

But, I know that I have GOT to resolve to find the time I need to stretch and use my muscles, to strengthen and support my body, to keep myself moving so that I don't lose mobility.  Inactivity quickly leads to a health decline.  And, there's too much to do to have that happening.  :-)

So, off through the new year, back on the wagon with the healthy eating (except for tonight - it's Kung Pao Friday!!), back on the wagon with some form of stretching or exercise every day, and hopefully heading towards a direction of improved health and strength!  And, maybe, next year one of my resolutions just might include an actual ballet class each week.  We'll see!

A Year Ago

A year ago today, my father went in to the hospital, through the ER, in congestive heart failure.  He was there for 15 days.  After it was discovered that stents were impossible due to complete to almost complete blockage in every vessel leading into his heart, he endured a triple bypass surgery.  (One of the vessels was completely blocked AND closed and was unable to be bypassed).  He was back in the hospital 6 days later due to fluid build-up and in that process pulmonary embolisms were discovered.  He was released again 5 days later on blood thinners and other updated meds.  One more day visit to the ER for shortness of breath.  And then a bit less than 6 weeks later, one more brief hospital stay to have a pacemaker/defibrillator implanted.

The beginning of 2012 was a physical and emotional roller coaster in so many ways, for everyone involved, and especially for him.

For me, I have learned a lot of different lessons over the past year.  Some I will discuss, some I can't quite put words to.  I've had words of advice that have stuck with me and that I pull out on a regular basis from people who might not even remember speaking them to me.  But the journey over the past year has been one that reaffirmed my God-blessed, beautiful relationship with my husband.  It strengthened and/or changed my relationship with my parents in different ways.  It brought to light the love of friends who surrounded me with support.  But, very specifically, it caused me to look to the Lord for help and for comfort.  Not that I hadn't always done that up to that point.  But, my boldness for Him changed.  Actually, to be honest, it was born.  My boldness is but an infant in its development, but it was born.  And I hope to nurture that boldness for Jesus Christ so that it may continue to grow, to glorify Him.  I had nothing but prayer when we were in the waiting area during his surgery.  I had nothing but prayer the morning that we were gathered in his room, praying with him, not sure if we would see him again after the surgery.  I had nothing but prayer as I was driving back and forth from my home to the hospital.  I had nothing but prayer as I thought of all the time that Jmk took off work so that I could be in the hospital without needing to care for the children.  When you have nothing but that life line to God, then there is a bridge or a bond that is built that you want to fortify.

It's very hard for me to really explain it the way I want to.  But, for now, that's what I can put to words.

During the most recent Christmas holidays, and just after our house guests left to go home to Boston, there was a weirdness in my heart and my head.  I thought about how a year ago at that very time, my father was very, very sick, but no one really knew.  I thought about what was to come for him and it just sort of overwhelmed me for the rest of that evening.  I shook it off, because it was needful that I did not remain in that valley.  But I remember the heaviness and it was such a strange, burdensome feeling.

But, today, you'd barely know the journey that he took over the past year.  I have some photos on my computer that I took of him and Mom when he was in Cardiac ICU.  Just a couple.  I'm not sure who all has actually seen them.  Maybe only Jmk and myself.  Anyway, those pictures put an exclamation point on the success he has had in recovery over the past year.  It's really...  I don't know how to describe it.  I have this picture of my first hero on my computer where he is weak and barely conscious, and there are tubes and wires and more monitors than I knew could be attached to a person, and it makes me want to protect him in the way I feel protective of my husband or my children.  My mom is looking at him with a quiet strength about her that I assure you she did NOT feel at that scary moment in time.  But, even though she didn't feel strong right then, she was strengthened by the grace of God to get through the surreal difficulty of seeing her lifelong mate unable to even fully awaken.  Steel Magnolia.

He worked hard.  He went to cardiac rehab.  He ate when nothing tasted right or smelled right.  He worked hard at sleeping when sleeping was uncomfortable.  He continues to endure a handful of pills every day.  And, now, he is active, strong, back to "normal".  But he's different.  Not bad different.  Not good different.  Just different - nobody can go through something so unexpected and so invasive and so life-threatening and not be changed somehow.  It has been a thought altering process for me, as well.  I know for sure now that I will not always have my parents with me, unless the Savior comes back for His own sooner rather than later.  I have had a whole year with my Daddy that probably shouldn't have happened, considering how little blood was actually getting to his heart.  And, to be honest, I expect to have him for many, many more years than he had his Daddy.  Now, I'm pretty sure my mom is going to outlive me.  ::wink::  But, I respect this time I have left with them.  I love it.  I need it.  I want it.

It's not easy getting old.  Let's face it, it's heck getting old.  I know that if the Lord keeps me here, my sweet Jmk and I are going to do whatever we can to make sure our parents feel loved, protected, cared for, as best as we are able.  We hope to make sure they have some fun and that they know that their time here on earth was necessary, important, and will forever be remembered.  We hope to try to erase some of the lines between "old" and "young" and replace them with "family".  We won't do everything right, and we won't always know what to do.  But the desire will be there to do all we can for those we love.  I hope they won't be too uncomfortable to just tell us what they need from us when we don't figure it out on our own.

I don't feel like I'll have to say goodbye to either of my parents for a long time, Lord willing, because they are working hard to respect the life they were given by fixing the things that are going off-course.  For that effort, I thank them, because it's no small effort, I assure you.  And I'm so glad that this past year was one with my Dad IN it.  'Cause he's pretty awesome.  And I sure do love him.

2012 Resolutions Recap

As we wind down this year of 2012, it's time for me to don the proverbial big girl undergarments and revisit those resolutions made back in January.  Confession is good for the soul, they say.  So, let's see how we did here, and maybe that will help me focus in order to develop some worthwhile resolutions for 2013.

2012 Resolutions:
1)  Lose Weight.
Okay, so, I did manage to get a good start on this one, praise the Lord.  I'm not all the way where I need to be, but I'm down 18 pounds!  (In a spirit of total and full confession, I was down 18 pounds at the start of December.  I have backslid a bit during this month, I hate to admit).  But, I have clothes in my closet that no longer fit well, and it's because they're too big instead of being too small!  That's a huge blessing.  Here's a picture from Christmas 2011 taken before Jmk and I headed out for his office Christmas party:

And, here's one from this year:

Why, yes!  He HAS lost a lot of weight himself!  He's down 28 pounds so far.  I'm so, so proud of his success.  And, yes, you're right.  My bookshelves are quite stuffed full of unorganized things.  :-)  Better Homes and Gardens is not really beating my door down for my decorating style.  ::grin::

What have we been doing?  Putting down the fork.  ::shrug::  It's not fun, and it's not complicated.  If you take in less calories than you burn during a day, then you lose weight eventually.  The type of calories you take in matter, of course.  But, when you track everything that goes into your mouth, then you tend to eat the foods that give you the most bang for your caloric buck.  And brownies just don't have the bang.  ::sadness::  :-)  I've got another few lbs to go yet.  (maybe another 5 or so?)  I want to be at a place that allows me some wiggle room during the holidays as well as get me down into a solid size.  I'm sort of in between two sizes right now, and I want to get fully into a single one.  Know what I mean?



2)  Exercise More.
I definitely did exercise more than I did in 2011.  But I definitely did NOT exercise as much as I meant to.  I need to be doing something 3 days a week at a very minimum.  Not for weight loss, but for health reasons and for strength.  I had spurts during the year where I would totally be on the treadmill 4 or 5 times in a week, and then spurts where I'd slack off for 6 or more weeks at a time.  So, I guess you could say I sorta kept this resolution and sorta didn't.  :-/


3)  Get back my side splits and a 90 degree arabesque.
Hmmm.  Well, I'm *this* close to the side splits.   I have no one to blame but myself for that one.  I simply didn't stretch consistently like I should have.  I have no excuse; I just didn't do it.  Fail.  But, I am close enough for government work with regard to the arabesque.  I'd call it about an 88 degree arabesque.

I'd definitely say I need my leg up a couple more inches and get my standing leg to turn out better.  (Turnout has never been my strong point).  And, my left shoulder needs to get down.  And my entire torso needs to be picked up more.  And that left hip needs to get down into place.  And...  Aaarrrgggh!  I have to stop before I decide that I didn't get anywhere near the arabesque I wanted.  It's better than it was a year ago, and I need to remember that.  I wish I'd thought to take a picture of it then so as to have photographic evidence of the progress.


4)  Finish the Couch to 5K program.
::sigh::  Man, being honest on here stinks!  No, I never finished the whole program.  I got closer than I have in the past!  I finished through week 7, and then school started back in the fall.  And once my mornings were spent schooling, I just couldn't seem to get myself together enough to take time to exercise after lunch.  I really don't know quite how to make exercise time fit into my day, even now.  But, as I'm trying to formulate my 2013 resolutions, knowing that that is one of them, I must figure something out.  I must!  I can't wait till the wee one is older and all that.


5)  Feel like I'm able to dance a swing with my youngest brother.
Well, I actually do think that I could make it through one now.  I'm not nearly in the type of shape I ought to be in, but I do think I'm in better shape than I was at the beginning of 2012.  And, I think I could get through a swing with him without feeling ill.  Ha!  So, I'll call this one a success.


I think that having these public resolutions this year were somewhat helpful for me!  So, I'll give this another go in 2013.  In complete honesty, my greatest success (the weight loss) was possible because Jmk was/is doing it with me.  We work so well as a team, and when we do things together, we always seem to be more successful.  We definitely have more fun!  So, thank you honey for being the most wonderfulest husband ever.  :-)

I'm still thinking about 2013 resolutions, and when I get them pulled together, I'll definitely share.  Share yours with me and I'll be your cheerleader!

Thank you, Lord God, for the unmerited blessings you have bestowed on me during this past year.  Thank you for the support and kind words and needed encouragement that you sent through others that reminded me of my goals.  Thank you for the good health that you gave to us this year.  Thank you, Father, for Your mercy and Your grace.

The Thyroid Thing

So, back in November, I briefly mentioned "the thryoid thing" and talked about how I was grateful for a good checkup.  So, I'll elaborate on what that was all about, as much as I need to elaborate on medical stuff that isn't that big of a deal.  :-)

Way back in the summer, I decided to do a cleanse to help jump start an honest-to-goodness diet that I intended to go on.  Think of a parent who gives their child a big push on a bike to get them going, and then the child continues pedaling after that - that's what I wanted the cleanse to do for me.  Well, along with that, I thought that it would be a great idea to get some blood work done first.  Check my cholesterol, my glucose, and etc.  Also, I thought it would be good to compare those results with new tests after the 3-week cleanse had been completed.

So, my chiropractor ordered some tests, and when the results came in, she called me and said "Um, Leah, your cholesterol is great, everything looks fine, but your TSH..." (a marker that indicates thyroid malfunction) "...is way too high".  (Where a normal level is 0.3 to 3.7, my level was 28).   "You need to schedule an appointment with your GP".

I did so, he immediately said "start synthroid, we're not checking anything else, and here are some samples and it doesn't really matter how you take them".  ::insert questioning face here::  Well, I had Dr. Googled all weekend prior to that appointment, and even though I had to start with "what is a thyroid and where is it in your body", by the time I saw this first doctor, I had at least learned that you HAVE to take thyroid medication at a specific time and in a specific manner.  So, I left his office, called my mother-in-law who used to work for a GP herself and said "um....  this isn't right is it?"  To which she said, no it isn't at ALL.  She gave me the name of a different GP to see, and I made an appointment.

However, before I made it to that appointment, I did some MORE Dr. Googling.  (Google must be the bane of some physicians' lives.  It can really help educate patients, but it can also cause some stubbornness!)  I got to reading about how sometimes the thyroid simply gets overworked, along with the adrenals, and that there are times that supplementation, proper diet, and lifestyle changes can help to stimulate function naturally.  Well, sign me up for that!!!  I much prefer that route of medical intervention as opposed to a lifetime of pill-popping.  Thus, I postponed my GP appointment, to the chagrin of a number of people.  ;-)

But, I needed to try that route first.  It was important to me. I HAD to know if the problem could be fixed naturally.  I had to!  So, I worked with the chiro to get proper supplementation, finish the cleanse, and do the things that would help if this was a problem that could be fixed in this manner.  She had had prior success with other people who had thyroid issues, and I figured that this was my best chance, if it could work.

Unfortunately, that wasn't going to be the case for me.  My numbers continued to degrade despite big efforts.  And so, I made a new appointment with this wonderful GP, and he looked at my test results and said "how are you not lying in bed unable to function?"  I actually kept getting that question from nurses, too.  You know, that's one of the things that bugs me about my situation.  I never really felt like anything was terribly wrong.  So, how am I supposed to know if things get off again if I'm not too symptomatic in the first place?  Regardless, he started me on Synthroid (incidentally, it was the same dosage as the other doc.  But, this time, I had proper instructions, and the new doc didn't tell me to break samples in half to get the proper dosage.  That, btw, isn't a good idea with this medicine), but he also asked me to get an ultrasound of the gland to make sure that there wasn't anything "weird" going on in there that needed to be addressed.

So, I have the ultrasound and they discover nodules in the thyroid which is a fairly typical thing.  However, the GP says that when there is at least one nodule of a certain size, he refers to an endocrinologist.  I had one big enough to warrant that, so off I go to the endo.  I get to his office, and he does another ultrasound with a biopsy to make sure that there isn't anything amiss.  By God's mercy, there isn't anything wrong, and I leave with a definitive diagnosis.  Hashimoto's Thyroiditis with Hypothyroid.

Like I told my Dad, if you're going to have a chronic problem, this is the one to have!  It's sort of like rheumatoid arthritis, except that instead of your body attacking your joints, it attacks your thyroid.  The medical establishment doesn't have any explanation for it, and honestly, because there is medicine so readily available to control symptoms, there will probably be very little research done to determine causes and how to fix the problem instead of just bandaid the symptoms.

Fast forward to now, all is well!  I take a pill every day, and my last checkup indicated that all seems to be fine.  Like I mentioned previously, I'm not sure I will know when my levels are going off track until it gets particularly bad.  But, then, I also know how quickly "things" can be gotten back under control with proper medication.  So, the Lord has blessed me with a medical issue that is so mild, so manageable, and so not a big deal!  I'm really, really grateful for that.  And that, my friends, is all there is to know about that Thyroid Thing!  :-)

C25K Week5 Day3! DONE!!!

Can I get a wahoooo??!!??


C25K is the nickname for the Couch to 5K program.  It's a nine week program that is designed to take a non-runner from no running at all to being able to run a 5K from start to finish.  (That's about 3.1 miles).  There are 3 runs each week, and each one is a combo of runs and walks with a warm-up and cool-down walk of 5 minutes each as book ends.  UNTIL the 3rd day of the 5th week.  This is the day where you have a 20 minute run, with zero recovery walks, in between the warm-up and cool-down.  And I did it!!!  Towanda!!  (Fried Green Tomatoes reference, y'all).  


Now, you know me.  I just gotta qualify everything.  So, let me qualify the above celebration by saying that 14 of these 15 runs so far have been on the treadmill in the garage.  (Yay, SueSue, for the treadmill!)  And they haven't been so much "runs" as they have been jogs.  And, if I'm being REALLY honest, some of those jogs have looked an awful lot like bouncy walks.  And, as I can attest from doing one of my runs "in the real world", treadmill running is way easier than real world running.  Mentally, it's harder, 'cause it's tee-totally boring.  But, physically, it's easier.  So, if I were to go outside this minute and try to run for 20 straight minutes, I'd likely not be able to finish it.  Why, then, am I doing all this on the treadmill?  Well, I have little kids.  One who still naps.  And I homeschool.  And my sweet husband leaves before the crack of dawn (literally) in the morning so that he can be home as close to 5 as possible, but still get in the 10-12 hours a day that his job entails.  So, I can't just up and take off around the neighborhood and leave the kiddos unattended.  Thus, the treadmill in the garage has been great!  And I'm blessed to be able to do that much, because I remember a time where finding 30 minutes to myself was absolutely not an option.


But, see, that's not The Point.  The Point is this is the first time in my whole life that I've ever run for 20 minutes straight in any form whatsoever!  Even my totally fit dancing/cheerleading days from high school, I couldn't run 20 minutes straight anywhere.  I have been dreading this day of the program since I started, and to finish it is heartening and exciting and motivating like you wouldn't believe!  So stinkin' excited.  I started singing "Eye of the Tiger" to Jmk when I came in from the garage.  Heehee!  (Rocky reference, y'all).


Now, I'll be honest.  I'm 4 lbs heavier than I was when I started all this.  My tummy isn't any smaller.  (I look 4 months pregnant without Spanx and 2 months preggo with it!)  So, I have GOT to actually do some diet modification and some extra exercising during the days I'm not running.  But, by george, I know for a fact now that my stamina is increasing.  And the muscle strength in my legs is increasing.  And getting to this point is just exhilarating for me!


I know there are an awful lot of exclamation points in this post, so I do beg your forgiveness.  :-)  I've got another 4 weeks to, which will eventually culminate in my running 30 straight minutes.  And, at that point, I'm supposed to sign up to actually run a 5K.  While I completely understand what I'm supposed to do, I think I'll wait until I can prove to myself on my neighborhood sidewalks that I actually CAN run 30 straight minutes in the real world.


But, after that, I'm gonna really do it!  The person who said she'd never run unless she was being chased by someone is going to run a 5K!  I have to do it before next January, you know.  ;-)


Want to give it a try yourself?  Here's a link to the explanation of the program.  And, this is the app that I bought for my iPhone that has been worth every penny.  (And I hate paying for apps). 


Praise God for a wonderful day at home (plans changed so that I didn't have to go anywhere!) today, lots of chores getting done, a last minute decision to exercise, and a date night on the couch tonight.  :-D  Today has been a rainy, nasty, perfectly fantastic day!