Today's Joke

Installing a Home Security System (Southern Style)


1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with copies of the Guns & Ammo magazine and some back-issues of NRA magazine. An American Hunter (from the NRA) won't hurt either.

3. Put several giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines (Include a deer thigh-bone or two).

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Duke,
Big Jim, Bosco, Red, and I went for more hollow-point ammo. (We're in a shootin' mood today). Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and they messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it, thank goodness. It was hard to tell, though, from all the blood. Took Lorreene hours to clean up the sidewalk. Anyways, I locked all four of 'em dogs up in the house. You better wait outside. They're kinda spooked.

Be right back, Bubba