A Year Ago

A year ago today, my father went in to the hospital, through the ER, in congestive heart failure.  He was there for 15 days.  After it was discovered that stents were impossible due to complete to almost complete blockage in every vessel leading into his heart, he endured a triple bypass surgery.  (One of the vessels was completely blocked AND closed and was unable to be bypassed).  He was back in the hospital 6 days later due to fluid build-up and in that process pulmonary embolisms were discovered.  He was released again 5 days later on blood thinners and other updated meds.  One more day visit to the ER for shortness of breath.  And then a bit less than 6 weeks later, one more brief hospital stay to have a pacemaker/defibrillator implanted.

The beginning of 2012 was a physical and emotional roller coaster in so many ways, for everyone involved, and especially for him.

For me, I have learned a lot of different lessons over the past year.  Some I will discuss, some I can't quite put words to.  I've had words of advice that have stuck with me and that I pull out on a regular basis from people who might not even remember speaking them to me.  But the journey over the past year has been one that reaffirmed my God-blessed, beautiful relationship with my husband.  It strengthened and/or changed my relationship with my parents in different ways.  It brought to light the love of friends who surrounded me with support.  But, very specifically, it caused me to look to the Lord for help and for comfort.  Not that I hadn't always done that up to that point.  But, my boldness for Him changed.  Actually, to be honest, it was born.  My boldness is but an infant in its development, but it was born.  And I hope to nurture that boldness for Jesus Christ so that it may continue to grow, to glorify Him.  I had nothing but prayer when we were in the waiting area during his surgery.  I had nothing but prayer the morning that we were gathered in his room, praying with him, not sure if we would see him again after the surgery.  I had nothing but prayer as I was driving back and forth from my home to the hospital.  I had nothing but prayer as I thought of all the time that Jmk took off work so that I could be in the hospital without needing to care for the children.  When you have nothing but that life line to God, then there is a bridge or a bond that is built that you want to fortify.

It's very hard for me to really explain it the way I want to.  But, for now, that's what I can put to words.

During the most recent Christmas holidays, and just after our house guests left to go home to Boston, there was a weirdness in my heart and my head.  I thought about how a year ago at that very time, my father was very, very sick, but no one really knew.  I thought about what was to come for him and it just sort of overwhelmed me for the rest of that evening.  I shook it off, because it was needful that I did not remain in that valley.  But I remember the heaviness and it was such a strange, burdensome feeling.

But, today, you'd barely know the journey that he took over the past year.  I have some photos on my computer that I took of him and Mom when he was in Cardiac ICU.  Just a couple.  I'm not sure who all has actually seen them.  Maybe only Jmk and myself.  Anyway, those pictures put an exclamation point on the success he has had in recovery over the past year.  It's really...  I don't know how to describe it.  I have this picture of my first hero on my computer where he is weak and barely conscious, and there are tubes and wires and more monitors than I knew could be attached to a person, and it makes me want to protect him in the way I feel protective of my husband or my children.  My mom is looking at him with a quiet strength about her that I assure you she did NOT feel at that scary moment in time.  But, even though she didn't feel strong right then, she was strengthened by the grace of God to get through the surreal difficulty of seeing her lifelong mate unable to even fully awaken.  Steel Magnolia.

He worked hard.  He went to cardiac rehab.  He ate when nothing tasted right or smelled right.  He worked hard at sleeping when sleeping was uncomfortable.  He continues to endure a handful of pills every day.  And, now, he is active, strong, back to "normal".  But he's different.  Not bad different.  Not good different.  Just different - nobody can go through something so unexpected and so invasive and so life-threatening and not be changed somehow.  It has been a thought altering process for me, as well.  I know for sure now that I will not always have my parents with me, unless the Savior comes back for His own sooner rather than later.  I have had a whole year with my Daddy that probably shouldn't have happened, considering how little blood was actually getting to his heart.  And, to be honest, I expect to have him for many, many more years than he had his Daddy.  Now, I'm pretty sure my mom is going to outlive me.  ::wink::  But, I respect this time I have left with them.  I love it.  I need it.  I want it.

It's not easy getting old.  Let's face it, it's heck getting old.  I know that if the Lord keeps me here, my sweet Jmk and I are going to do whatever we can to make sure our parents feel loved, protected, cared for, as best as we are able.  We hope to make sure they have some fun and that they know that their time here on earth was necessary, important, and will forever be remembered.  We hope to try to erase some of the lines between "old" and "young" and replace them with "family".  We won't do everything right, and we won't always know what to do.  But the desire will be there to do all we can for those we love.  I hope they won't be too uncomfortable to just tell us what they need from us when we don't figure it out on our own.

I don't feel like I'll have to say goodbye to either of my parents for a long time, Lord willing, because they are working hard to respect the life they were given by fixing the things that are going off-course.  For that effort, I thank them, because it's no small effort, I assure you.  And I'm so glad that this past year was one with my Dad IN it.  'Cause he's pretty awesome.  And I sure do love him.

2012 Resolutions Recap

As we wind down this year of 2012, it's time for me to don the proverbial big girl undergarments and revisit those resolutions made back in January.  Confession is good for the soul, they say.  So, let's see how we did here, and maybe that will help me focus in order to develop some worthwhile resolutions for 2013.

2012 Resolutions:
1)  Lose Weight.
Okay, so, I did manage to get a good start on this one, praise the Lord.  I'm not all the way where I need to be, but I'm down 18 pounds!  (In a spirit of total and full confession, I was down 18 pounds at the start of December.  I have backslid a bit during this month, I hate to admit).  But, I have clothes in my closet that no longer fit well, and it's because they're too big instead of being too small!  That's a huge blessing.  Here's a picture from Christmas 2011 taken before Jmk and I headed out for his office Christmas party:

And, here's one from this year:

Why, yes!  He HAS lost a lot of weight himself!  He's down 28 pounds so far.  I'm so, so proud of his success.  And, yes, you're right.  My bookshelves are quite stuffed full of unorganized things.  :-)  Better Homes and Gardens is not really beating my door down for my decorating style.  ::grin::

What have we been doing?  Putting down the fork.  ::shrug::  It's not fun, and it's not complicated.  If you take in less calories than you burn during a day, then you lose weight eventually.  The type of calories you take in matter, of course.  But, when you track everything that goes into your mouth, then you tend to eat the foods that give you the most bang for your caloric buck.  And brownies just don't have the bang.  ::sadness::  :-)  I've got another few lbs to go yet.  (maybe another 5 or so?)  I want to be at a place that allows me some wiggle room during the holidays as well as get me down into a solid size.  I'm sort of in between two sizes right now, and I want to get fully into a single one.  Know what I mean?



2)  Exercise More.
I definitely did exercise more than I did in 2011.  But I definitely did NOT exercise as much as I meant to.  I need to be doing something 3 days a week at a very minimum.  Not for weight loss, but for health reasons and for strength.  I had spurts during the year where I would totally be on the treadmill 4 or 5 times in a week, and then spurts where I'd slack off for 6 or more weeks at a time.  So, I guess you could say I sorta kept this resolution and sorta didn't.  :-/


3)  Get back my side splits and a 90 degree arabesque.
Hmmm.  Well, I'm *this* close to the side splits.   I have no one to blame but myself for that one.  I simply didn't stretch consistently like I should have.  I have no excuse; I just didn't do it.  Fail.  But, I am close enough for government work with regard to the arabesque.  I'd call it about an 88 degree arabesque.

I'd definitely say I need my leg up a couple more inches and get my standing leg to turn out better.  (Turnout has never been my strong point).  And, my left shoulder needs to get down.  And my entire torso needs to be picked up more.  And that left hip needs to get down into place.  And...  Aaarrrgggh!  I have to stop before I decide that I didn't get anywhere near the arabesque I wanted.  It's better than it was a year ago, and I need to remember that.  I wish I'd thought to take a picture of it then so as to have photographic evidence of the progress.


4)  Finish the Couch to 5K program.
::sigh::  Man, being honest on here stinks!  No, I never finished the whole program.  I got closer than I have in the past!  I finished through week 7, and then school started back in the fall.  And once my mornings were spent schooling, I just couldn't seem to get myself together enough to take time to exercise after lunch.  I really don't know quite how to make exercise time fit into my day, even now.  But, as I'm trying to formulate my 2013 resolutions, knowing that that is one of them, I must figure something out.  I must!  I can't wait till the wee one is older and all that.


5)  Feel like I'm able to dance a swing with my youngest brother.
Well, I actually do think that I could make it through one now.  I'm not nearly in the type of shape I ought to be in, but I do think I'm in better shape than I was at the beginning of 2012.  And, I think I could get through a swing with him without feeling ill.  Ha!  So, I'll call this one a success.


I think that having these public resolutions this year were somewhat helpful for me!  So, I'll give this another go in 2013.  In complete honesty, my greatest success (the weight loss) was possible because Jmk was/is doing it with me.  We work so well as a team, and when we do things together, we always seem to be more successful.  We definitely have more fun!  So, thank you honey for being the most wonderfulest husband ever.  :-)

I'm still thinking about 2013 resolutions, and when I get them pulled together, I'll definitely share.  Share yours with me and I'll be your cheerleader!

Thank you, Lord God, for the unmerited blessings you have bestowed on me during this past year.  Thank you for the support and kind words and needed encouragement that you sent through others that reminded me of my goals.  Thank you for the good health that you gave to us this year.  Thank you, Father, for Your mercy and Your grace.

The Thyroid Thing

So, back in November, I briefly mentioned "the thryoid thing" and talked about how I was grateful for a good checkup.  So, I'll elaborate on what that was all about, as much as I need to elaborate on medical stuff that isn't that big of a deal.  :-)

Way back in the summer, I decided to do a cleanse to help jump start an honest-to-goodness diet that I intended to go on.  Think of a parent who gives their child a big push on a bike to get them going, and then the child continues pedaling after that - that's what I wanted the cleanse to do for me.  Well, along with that, I thought that it would be a great idea to get some blood work done first.  Check my cholesterol, my glucose, and etc.  Also, I thought it would be good to compare those results with new tests after the 3-week cleanse had been completed.

So, my chiropractor ordered some tests, and when the results came in, she called me and said "Um, Leah, your cholesterol is great, everything looks fine, but your TSH..." (a marker that indicates thyroid malfunction) "...is way too high".  (Where a normal level is 0.3 to 3.7, my level was 28).   "You need to schedule an appointment with your GP".

I did so, he immediately said "start synthroid, we're not checking anything else, and here are some samples and it doesn't really matter how you take them".  ::insert questioning face here::  Well, I had Dr. Googled all weekend prior to that appointment, and even though I had to start with "what is a thyroid and where is it in your body", by the time I saw this first doctor, I had at least learned that you HAVE to take thyroid medication at a specific time and in a specific manner.  So, I left his office, called my mother-in-law who used to work for a GP herself and said "um....  this isn't right is it?"  To which she said, no it isn't at ALL.  She gave me the name of a different GP to see, and I made an appointment.

However, before I made it to that appointment, I did some MORE Dr. Googling.  (Google must be the bane of some physicians' lives.  It can really help educate patients, but it can also cause some stubbornness!)  I got to reading about how sometimes the thyroid simply gets overworked, along with the adrenals, and that there are times that supplementation, proper diet, and lifestyle changes can help to stimulate function naturally.  Well, sign me up for that!!!  I much prefer that route of medical intervention as opposed to a lifetime of pill-popping.  Thus, I postponed my GP appointment, to the chagrin of a number of people.  ;-)

But, I needed to try that route first.  It was important to me. I HAD to know if the problem could be fixed naturally.  I had to!  So, I worked with the chiro to get proper supplementation, finish the cleanse, and do the things that would help if this was a problem that could be fixed in this manner.  She had had prior success with other people who had thyroid issues, and I figured that this was my best chance, if it could work.

Unfortunately, that wasn't going to be the case for me.  My numbers continued to degrade despite big efforts.  And so, I made a new appointment with this wonderful GP, and he looked at my test results and said "how are you not lying in bed unable to function?"  I actually kept getting that question from nurses, too.  You know, that's one of the things that bugs me about my situation.  I never really felt like anything was terribly wrong.  So, how am I supposed to know if things get off again if I'm not too symptomatic in the first place?  Regardless, he started me on Synthroid (incidentally, it was the same dosage as the other doc.  But, this time, I had proper instructions, and the new doc didn't tell me to break samples in half to get the proper dosage.  That, btw, isn't a good idea with this medicine), but he also asked me to get an ultrasound of the gland to make sure that there wasn't anything "weird" going on in there that needed to be addressed.

So, I have the ultrasound and they discover nodules in the thyroid which is a fairly typical thing.  However, the GP says that when there is at least one nodule of a certain size, he refers to an endocrinologist.  I had one big enough to warrant that, so off I go to the endo.  I get to his office, and he does another ultrasound with a biopsy to make sure that there isn't anything amiss.  By God's mercy, there isn't anything wrong, and I leave with a definitive diagnosis.  Hashimoto's Thyroiditis with Hypothyroid.

Like I told my Dad, if you're going to have a chronic problem, this is the one to have!  It's sort of like rheumatoid arthritis, except that instead of your body attacking your joints, it attacks your thyroid.  The medical establishment doesn't have any explanation for it, and honestly, because there is medicine so readily available to control symptoms, there will probably be very little research done to determine causes and how to fix the problem instead of just bandaid the symptoms.

Fast forward to now, all is well!  I take a pill every day, and my last checkup indicated that all seems to be fine.  Like I mentioned previously, I'm not sure I will know when my levels are going off track until it gets particularly bad.  But, then, I also know how quickly "things" can be gotten back under control with proper medication.  So, the Lord has blessed me with a medical issue that is so mild, so manageable, and so not a big deal!  I'm really, really grateful for that.  And that, my friends, is all there is to know about that Thyroid Thing!  :-)

Thoughts on prayer and faith

I read a devotional recently that touched me.  For those that don't have time to click on the link, the gist of it, for me anyway, was how important it is to turn to God in prayer, especially when you've messed up.  It referenced Jonah and how while he was in the hell of the great fish's belly, he didn't curse his situation.  Instead, he cried out in repentance to God.

It reminds me of my children.  They will do something wrong and will get into big-time trouble.  But, just as soon as they get over their initial punishment, they seek out the punishing parent for comfort and for forgiveness.  That is exactly what I am supposed to do with my Lord.  It was a good reminder of why and how we are to have the type of faith that a child has:  faith that trusts no matter what.  Here is an excerpt from this devotional:

When we find ourselves suffering for our own sins, we are sometimes tempted to avoid God. Out of a sense of guilt, or pride, or embarrassment we turn away from God rather than turning to him in prayer.

But, as Jonah observed, afflictions are sometimes sent to draw us to God, to deliver us from our sinful path: “I cried by reason of mine affliction unto the LORD.” The very affliction is what brought Jonah to cry out to God.

God has never yet turned away any sinner who prayed to him in repentance. Jonah found that, even as he suffered “in the belly of hell” he was able, through prayer, to come to God in his holy temple.

Being Thankful - Day Thirty

On this last day of the month of gratitude, I want to think about the very act of being grateful.

A couple of weeks ago, I was rocking the little squirt to sleep (ahhh, the benefits of being the "baby"), and I felt such gratitude for having this child, all my children, in my life.  I did nothing right so as to deserve them.  I am not the "world's best mom" by any means.  Yet, here I am with the blessing of three children.  And then, it occurred to me that the very act of being grateful for something like this points directly to a Creator.

If you're walking down the street, and you accidentally drop your keys out of your purse and a kind stranger picks them up and hands them back to you, it's normal to feel gratitude towards that particular person for doing a kind deed.

But, for the really huge things like family, children, etc, to whom does that gratitude go?  If you are holding a child or a grandchild and you feel so thankful to have them, why are you thankful?  Don't dismiss it as simple happiness.  You know it's more than that.  You can't simply be grateful to "the universe", because you are still implying that there is a life force bigger than you that had a part in this life you are holding.  As Psalm 19:1 expresses, the very heavens speak to a Creator.  The very earth and its inhabitants speak to a Creator.  The gratitude or thankfulness or the feeling of being overwhelmed with gifts speaks to a Creator.  Because if there wasn't a Creator to whom your gratitude was due, then you would simply care for your child as an animal cares for its child.  By instinct.  Without long-lasting emotion.  Dogs don't cry when they see their puppy.  They take it as a matter of fact, then go about licking the puppy clean.  But, we cry from the overwhelming emotion of holding this gift.  Why?  Because our very souls recognize our Creator, even if our minds refuse to acknowledge Him.

Sometimes, taking the first step of saying "yes, I acknowledge the absolute fact that there must be a Creator.  This world is here by Intelligent Design" is the hardest for some people.  But as my pastor always says, "it's amazing what unbelievers have to believe to be an unbeliever".  Getting yourself out of your own way and giving your gratitude to its proper Recipient creates a sense of peace in your heart, and it will allow you to feel the work that the Holy Spirit has already begun to do in you.

Gratitude itself is not just due to the Lord, but it is a gift from Him at the very same time.  ALL good things are of the Lord.  Praise isn't due to a person for being good; give thanks to God for the goodness He has put in that person.  And when you are sitting alone with your thoughts and feeling thankful for some good thing in your life, recognize the Creator in that.

Thank you, Father, for this past month of focusing on the gifts you've given to me and to my family.  Thank you for the good things that others have done for us and through us.  Today, Lord Jesus, I am thankful to You for all things!!!

Being Thankful - Day Twenty-Nine

Tonight, I'm grateful for this past month of focused gratitude.  Knowing each day that I needed to post something also made me realize that it was hard to pick just one thing.  It took a month, it seemed, to just get through the "big stuff".  Yeah, I broke down and expressed gratefulness for rotisserie chicken one day.  I did.  But, for the most past, I realized that the "big stuff" encompasses SO much of my life.  I have an abundance of gifts that, truly, a lot of us have.  But until you get to thinking about them, it's easy to forget how important, and how many, they all are.

Today has been one of those days where I've felt a lot of stress coming at me from a number of places, and I've felt a bit out of sorts.  I can't really explain it.  Maybe it's as simple as I need a quiet, peaceful day at home, and I don't see one of those on the horizon for awhile.  Maybe I'm feeling the typical stress of the "holiday season", where all the multitudes feel the pressure to put on an event to celebrate the Season, regardless of the fact that we all have SO many of these events to go to already.  Maybe I'm just cranky today.  WhatEVER the problem is, as I sit here and type, I realize that our gratitude is necessary when we're feeling good, when we're feeling cranky, when we're feeling downtrodden.  Even when we're feeling lost.  The hardest time to feel gratitude can be when the world gets all over and up in your business.  Yet, that's the time when we have to figure out how to let go of the stuff that is pestering our peace and focus on the Giver of the peace in the first place.  It's not easy, and the Lord never promised an easy path.  In fact, He pretty much assured us of difficulties.

Yet, we are to praise Him continually for He is good.  And we should be grateful for all the blessings we have at all times.  Good, the actual living entity that is the opposite of bad, is what God is.  If there is good in this world, then it is because God is there.  So, even on a weirdo day like I'm having today, I think of the good things, the blessings, in my life, and I thank Him.  I praise Him.  I remember that this life isn't about me in the first place.

And I will go to bed and shake this off (hopefully) and will rise to remember from Whom this past month's worth of blessings came.  Lord willing, this little pep talk to myself will do some good.  :-)

Being Thankful - Day Twenty-Eight

Today (yesterday), I'm so thankful for a van full of giggling 9 year old girls on their way to Nutcracker rehearsal, playing concentration and falling out in laughter when someone can't think of another food.  I'm so grateful for the sweet moms who have been faithful in the carpool so that we ALL don't have to make the trek across the Rez for every rehearsal.  And I'm grateful that the Lord has put all these lovely things in my path.

Just lovely and fun and sweet.  Thank you, Lord, for protecting these girls so that they still have so much of their naivete!

Being Thankful - Day Twenty-Seven

Tonight, I'm thankful for a family full of All-In!  It's a long story, so ask me about it sometime.  The short version is we all decided we were All-In after talking about Matthew 6:22-23 tonight.  Even widdle Lollypop said she was, although she really didn't know what she was saying.  But it was pretty cute nonetheless.

Thank you Lord for some precious family time and for reaching the hearts of our children in their youth.  That is a blessing for them, but it's also one for us.  And, You make them alive in You!

Being Thankful - Day Twenty-Six

Today, I'm very grateful for a good checkup with the thyroid doctor.  My levels all look good and he felt like the gland had possibly decreased in size a little bit.  Praise the Lord, it looks as though I'm responding to the drug therapy in a textbook fashion!

I'll go back in six months for a follow up ultrasound, and if, Lord willing, that looks good, then I'll hopefully only have to check in with him once a year!

I haven't talked about the whole "thyroid thing" as I call it, but I'll post an update on that soon.  It's no big secret; I just haven't gotten around to blogging about it.  The blessing of it all is that through the hand of God, a problem was caught before it caused any major problems!  Thank you, Lord Jesus, for sending healing through the expertise of the good doctors who treat me!  And thank you, Lord, for the good chiropractor who found this in the first place!

Being Thankful - Day Twenty-Five

Today, I'm thankful for all the experiences my parents provided for me as I was growing up that have allowed me to be able to do the things that I do today.  Ballet mom, soccer/baseball mom, homeschooling mom, photography mom, Mary Kay mom - all the odd variety of things that I do can be traced back to something that fed either my mind or my soul as I was growing up.  And, without my parents hard work to earn the money to pay for it and to physically get me to those activities, I'd not have those experiences to draw from.  (Mom, avert your eyes from the preposition that ends the sentence.  It sounds best like that).  ;-)

Thank you, Lord, for giving me parents that loved their kids and always did their best for us.  Please guide our actions with these three kids you've given us so that they will grow to honor you in all they do!

Being Thankful - Day Twenty-Four

Today (yesterday), I am thankful for a husband who understands me enough to know how much I love having the whole family help with decorating for Christmas, who also loves that himself, and who cares enough to cut short his day in the woods in order to help make that happen!

You're a good man, Jmk.  Thank you for making yesterday so fun and productive!!

Being Thankful - Day Twenty-Three

Tonight, I'm so thankful for Thanksgiving Part Two and for loving parents who are so gracious about not caring about which day they celebrate with family.  Thanksgiving on Friday?  Sure!  Why not?

It was a lovely day.  Poodle made the brownies and decorated the tables.  We collected leaves from Cascades and from the Trace and from our front yard to use on the tables.  I even wandered around the house and located our wedding china and crystal!  As a homeschooling family, we have had to give up things like china cabinets and buffets and... well, and the dining room!  ha!  We need the space for bookshelves and craft drawers and just plain move around space.  So, finding the "play-pretties" for holidays requires finding china stored under sinks in various bathrooms and finding serving pieces stored somewhere else and trying to remember where in the world that other bowl is now.  You can imagine, right?  It's like a treasure hunt, because I never can remember where it all is!  :-)

We had SO much food, because my mom did most of the heavy lifting with regard to the cooking.  (I had my list of food to prepare, but she only left me with the easy stuff!)  It was all soooo good, and we very happily ate way too stinkin' much.  :-)  Hands down, Mom makes the best pecan pie evah.  My local brother and his family was there (minus one sweetheart) and Jmk's dad.  And, we also had a lovely visit with my college roommate and her family as they were coming through the area on their way back home.  So, the kids had a BALL playing with everyone.  And it was a house full of people, and I loved it.  Loved it!  Holidays are getting a little easier as the kids get a little older.  (Even the Little Squirt wandered around with Uncle Ken yesterday.  Last year, she wouldn't wander two feet away from me).  And I used to almost steel myself for holidays, worrying about the kids' behavior and that kind of thing.  Now, I can see that I can look forward to being with family.  Sure, the kids' behavior still matters, but I'm not as worried about it.  Sure, they still need me, but not in the same "every needs" kind of way.  There is some sadness in that, but at the same time, I'm so thankful, so VERY thankful, that the Lord has allowed me to get to this point.  It's an undeserved blessing, and I'm so grateful.

Thank you, Lord, for the gift of family and for allowing me to be a part of one that loves me back!  It's no small thing to have a family that works to stay together.  And to have a DNA family AND a by-marriage family that make those efforts...  well, I have been given a lifelong gift!

Being Thankful - Day Twenty-Two

Today (yesterday), on a beautiful Thanksgiving Day, I am thankful for the efforts of a beautiful woman who loves the work that it takes to get her family together.  She plans and works and thinks and accommodates for weeks and weeks in order to be sure that her family stays close and we are able to connect with each other, face-to-face, on a regular basis.

We had a beautiful afternoon, eating lots of really good food, and we enjoyed being with family!  Aunt Jen, THANK YOU for the work that you put in.  And to the other sisters, thank you for all you did to help get the food there and out and for always being a part of the joy and laughter and LOVE that surrounds the family.  I sure lucked out to have married into such joy.

I give God the glory for the good days like yesterday!  Thank you, Father, for blessing us with a precious afternoon together.

Being Thankful - Day Twenty-One

Today (yesterday), I am so thankful for the giant sized blessing of the possibilities of "On Kackley Pond".  We don't know God's timing, but we are so, so grateful for the chance that we may be having new home adventures in the future.

Thank you Lord for guiding us through the process so far, and I pray that You will keep us in Your will as the process continues.  Please deliver us from bad decisions and things that will not be honoring to You.

Being Thankful - Day Twenty

Today, I am so, so grateful for the life of one little boy.  This little boy who has the world's best, biggest hugs.  Who has the sparkliest blue eyes.  Who tries so, SO hard at everything and has his mother's tendency (unfortunately) to get mad at himself when he can't do something just right.  Who loves his sisters and plays with them, but who is ALL boy, ALL the time, a fact which is becoming more apparent to me as time goes by.  Who is so smart, even if he can't always find all the words he needs to explain some of his thoughts to you.   Who struggles with eczema all over his sweet body.  Who has the challenge of a weaker immune system than his sisters, but who is a Tough Guy about everything.  Who loves so fiercely, and so loyally.  Who, after I had a particularly bad coughing spasm after swallowing some food the wrong way, asks me with very intense sincerity "Mommy, are you okay?  What can I do that is nice for you to make you feel better?"

I love him so much.  He is such a blessing to me and Jmk.  Of all the boys in the whole world, I would pick him every single day.  Thank you, Lord Jesus, for blessing us with him, our little Turkey Baby Tooter.

Happy Birthday little man!!  We wouldn't trade you for a gold monkey!

Being Thankful - Day Nineteen

Tonight, I'm so thankful that I have a sweet husband who makes it possible for me to go and pursue hobbies as often as I can.

I had the opportunity to take headshots of some fantastic Mary Kay directors and consultants this evening.  But, to do that, Jmk had to feed the kids supper, get 3 kids in the bath and ready for bed, and put them all to bed single handedly.  Of course, he's totally capable of that.  He always has been.  But, frankly, it's a big job and it's a lot to take on at the end of what was already a long day.  But he never ever complains and he always supports me when I step out of my comfort zone to do something that is really just for me.

Thank you, honey, for being such a great dad and such a great husband and an even better friend to me. I love you and I'm so grateful to God for putting us together!

Being Thankful - Day Eighteen

Today I am so grateful for the loving family that celebrated Tooter turning 7 with us.  They took their Sunday afternoon to be with us, even though it might not have been the most convenient thing for them.  And they played and braved the VERY bright setting sun at the park and laughed and gave the birthday boy copious hugs and smiles.

I'm so grateful to have these people around us.  I'm so thankful for the love they have for the kids and for the big, huge love that the kids have for them!

Thank you all for being there yesterday!  And, thank you, Father, for blessing me with family.

Being Thankful - Day Seventeen

Today, I'm thankful for that stranger in Hobby Lobby who complimented me on my mothering skills while I was in the "breaky breaky" section with a 3 year old and an almost 7 year old.

The aforementioned wee ones were being particularly wonderful at that moment in time, for which I have no one but God to praise.  But, I really appreciate that nice lady for saying those precious words "you're a good mom".  Those are words that can produce tears in almost any mother out there.

Hey, not for nothing, but MooMoo?  SueSue?  You're a good mom.  Truth.

Being Thankful - Day Sixteen

Today, I am thankful that someone is HOME.

After a raging MRSA infection, 1 in 5 chances of survival, 102 days in the hospital, and countless hours of PT and OT (that will be ongoing), my Uncle John walked into his own home today!  His left leg isn't yet what he wants it to be, and he still has a long way to go to get back to "fine", but he is home.  And my dear aunt who has been by his side this whole time gets to have her husband back home where he belongs.

We give God all the praise for this, because we know that His will intended for Uncle John to beat this infection, and He answered our prayers for John's survival in such a glorious way.

Uncle John, we love you!  Keep getting better each and every day and take time to look back to remember how far you've come already!

Being Thankful - Day Fourteen And Fifteen

Today, I'm thankful for two things:  my home state and the freedom it affords us with regard to homeschooling and homeschooling in general.  In the admittedly silly effort to maintain some anonymity (when am I going to give that up?), I won't list the state.  But, thankfully, there are enough responsible, freedom-loving people in our state government that feel strongly about homeschooling freedom.  We may not be Texas, but we are awfully close with regard to the openness of our homeschooling laws.  It's simple to express intent to do it.  There aren't cumbersome tests to take that prohibit parents from choosing the best curriculum for their kids.  There aren't pesky requirements about paperwork and the like, which means I don't have to spend precious time filling out forms or turning in information that no one is really going to look at anyway.  It frees me up to educate the way I need to without burdening me with rules that accomplish nothing.  We have a wonderful state!

And I'm grateful that we are on this homeschooling journey.  It's hard, it's confusing, it's overwhelming at times.  Many days I wonder if I'm doing the best I can for the kids.  Many days I look in the future years and Flat Out Panic.  But, I see the development in the kids that inspires me to keep going.  I know there is a connection between us that is just different.  I know that none of the kids are going to get labeled in order to explain their personality.  It's a blessing that we are able to do this thing for them.  It's not for every family.  Some days, I wish I could take a break from it so I could think a coherent thought.  But, when I have breakthrough moments with the kids, it lifts me up and reminds me that this is good for them.  Not perfect; it's good.  No school will be perfect.  No school has all the answers, including the one at our home.  But it's good, and any good in it is because the Lord has shown us mercy and given us grace.

Tonight, I'm thankful!